"Did you study son?"

   Said my so called "employer" or "contractee," Mr. F., in his southern drawl as I informed him of my second bar exam failure. I thought to myself:

   No Mr. F. of course I didn't study.  Instead I just thought it would be tons of fun to shell out thousands of dollars on books, bar exam courses, hotels, and gas; and I just knew it would be so liberating to shut myself in a library and isolate myself from the rest of humanity for months at a time while I read thousands of pages, compiled nearly a thousand flash cards, typed hudreds of words, and did hundreds of problems just so I could drive all the way to Tampa twice to face the humiliating glare of all my friends who know I already failed the exam once and that I am taking it for a second time so I could forego receiving a license all so I could work for you making a low wage, not even as a legal clerk, but as a file clerk where I make the world a better place everyday by filing, faxing, copying, entering data, destapling, re-stapling, answering phones, stripping files, throwing out garbage, turning on sprinklers, shredding documents, etc. . .  only to be crushed by a skyward amount of student loan debt and an inability to find real work all while I study to take the Bar exam for A THIRD TIME."

    "Of course I studied dipstick."  I shouldn't really be offended.  This is not his problem nor his fault.  While he certainly is not a part of the solution, he is not the problem either.  I must say I think the question is dumb.  I'm sure it happens here and there where people fail because they don't study. I do not nor will I ever operate that way.  But I guess I understand his thinking.  All of my friends put the work in, and they passed. This is usually what happens about 80% of the time according to the pass rate.

     None of my peers asked me that question.  I am hardly one to pat myself on the back, but they know me.  They've seen the kind of time I will put towards my studies.  We've done the all nighters together or the consecutive months of preparing for competitions while foregoing weekends, sleep, and food.  I may not have had the most effective method, nor have I ever claimed to be some brilliant legal mind, but I am not one who lacks in effort.

    I highly doubt Mr. F. thought about what he was saying.  When he is not in his officious capacity, he appears to me to be a "gunslinger."  He shoots from the hip, or off at the mouth.  While I can't necessarily say I am enjoying working for him, I appreciate the way he handles clients.  Though he is a PI attorney and money is always an issue, he is not the typical "ambulance chaser."  I don't know if he is a good guy.  I don't know him well enough to vouch for him like that.  But, I haven't really seen anything to indicate the contrary.  But I can tell you, I don't plan to have any further Bar Exam conversations with him.